Friday, September 16, 2016

Sleep (Round 2)

Lars slept with us for the first few months of his life and it was a flipping disaster that in my first time mom-sleep deprived-trying to follow every rule-reading too many books-too uptight state couldn’t admit to.  I wanted Lars to sleep with so much for many reasons.  It was easier to nurse, I loved snuggling him, I loved being that close but it was not working out.  You can read about it here if you’re so inclined.  

This time around has been completely different.  If no one has told you (I’m certain they have) the second time around is like 5 trillion times easier. Things are easier because we’re not batshit crazy..basically. We are much more easy going and go with the flow. I haven’t read one sleep baby book or googled one baby sleep solution because I’ve realized that it just puts too much pressure on us and while the author of those many books has great advice, that author is not the mother to my child. We’ve realized that sleeping is great however and whenever it happens.  Townes will pretty much fall asleep anywhere; in his rock n play, in his swing, on me in the hammock, rocking, in the car, in bed with us, in his crib.  Some nights he falls sleep on me while we’re in bed and I just roll him over and he sleeps snuggly between us.  Other nights I place him in his crib and he’ll sleep there.  He still wakes up to eat once or twice a night and I’m perfectly ok with that.  Those tiny baby snuggles are delicious whenever they happen!!!

No, he’s not sleeping through the night on a regular basis.  He has at various points throughout his short 5 months but for the most part he still wants to eat every 4-5 hours.  No, we don’t have a strict sleep schedule for him.  He usually takes a late afternoon nap between 4-6 then hangs out with us and falls asleep for the night anywhere between 8-9PM. He’ll wake up (loose term because he never fully wakes up, just lets me know he’s hungry) once or twice and then wakes up between 8-9AM.  Our schedule is stricter for Lars than it is for Townes.   

I feel like with Lars we were forcing a schedule on him…one that he wasn’t ready for and it made things really hard.  This time around, Townes makes his own sleep schedule and it’s been so much easier and we’ve been much happier.  There’s no sleep training or rigid schedules because honestly when I look back, I feel like that was the source of my frustration and complete exhaustion with Lars. I was trying too hard to adhere to someone else’s rules and guidelines, I was stressing about following this crazy almost unattainable schedule.

From my perspective Townes is a good sleeper.  He naps, he’ll sleep wherever and he’s happy and we’re happy.  With Lars I based success on his longevity of sleep.  We did sleep training numerous times throughout his first year of life and we feel it actually made a more anxious and restless sleeper.  We’ve had to really work to sort of help Lars become a good sleeper and it’s taken 4 years. I think if we would have just gone with the flow a bit more we wouldn’t have all had to suffer through the sleep battles as much as we have. From day 1 Lars wasn’t a great sleeper according to books and doctors, but knowing what I know now and being his mom for 4 years, I’ve realized that Lars flat out doesn’t need the amount of sleep that other 4 year olds need or that is recommended.  He just doesn’t.  Lars is good on 9-10 hours a night.  He doesn’t need a nap and if you let him nap, I’ll slap you.  With 9 or 10 hours, Lars thrives and he needs the whole day to exert all that energy and be tired enough to fall asleep in the evening. You let that boy nap and you should be prepared to be up with him until midnight.   

I don’t know what kind of sleeper Townes will be but I’m going to let him decide that because in our house that’s the path of least resistance.  We don’t always encourage taking the easier path but we’ve taken the harder one and it sucked.  

he had peed in his jammies, so i changed him and he never woke up so he finished the night like this. 

he will always...ALWAYS get himself horizontal in our bed. 

the hammock will win every time. 

sleeping at dinner.  not sure if i like the sleeping baby or the hot husband more....

horizontal monkey

i mean really...

How beautiful is that? 
this sums up Lars much better 

how did i get so damn lucky?? 

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