Monday, February 13, 2017

Lars & Townes, I love you.


On this Valentine’s Eve, which Bob and I never really celebrated until we had babies and then you take any reason you can to celebrate, I want to write a letter to my boys…my beautiful, awe inspiring boys.

Being your mother is a gift; a true gift.  A gift that sometimes gets disguised in messes and middle of the night waking’s, in dark circles and short tempers, in miscommunication and frustration.  I never knew a gift would include all of these non-gift like characteristics. But that my loves, has been my greatest lesson learned since being your mother.  The gift of complete and unhindered love that I have for each of you.  I love you through these messes and dark circles, through the tantrums and frustration. I love you while I’m cleaning the endless pee off the bathroom floor.  I love you when you need me 4,000 times during the night….for the fifth night in a row. I love you when I’ve asked you countless times to do something and it doesn’t get done. I love you when I lose my cool.  It’s never hard to love you because it’s who I am now, it’s part of my being.  I am here to love you forever, no matter what.  I’m here to support you and believe in you.  To let you fall but help you up, to watch you cry but hold you tight.  I am yours. 

Lars, thank you for making me a mother.  You are the light of my life; the funniest person I know and often times the smartest.  You are witty and curious and so captivated by knowledge.  I tell myself daily to appreciate your strong will and determination because it will serve you well. It’s just hard to see that when your strong will and determination is keeping you from doing what I ask, but nevertheless I appreciate it and I know exactly where it comes from.  You are the most wonderful and caring big brother in the world and you have been since day one.  Honestly, I had my doubts but they quickly diminished once I witnessed you and Townes for the first time.  I love you Lars, more than you could ever imagine. The day you were born was the  most epic day of my entire life and you’ve continued to make most of my days pretty epic since.

Townes, my precious Townesy...another light of my life. Never did I think I could love another as much as I love your brother and then BAM!! you arrived and my heart just about burst with love. You are always the calm to my storm.  When things have been hectic or crazy, you snuggle your precious face into my neck and all feels right. You are so cuddly and squishy and I love nothing more than holding you.  You make everyone happy with your laugh and your sweet little face. I love how much you adore Lars…when y’all are together life feels pretty perfect.  I love that we are still figuring you out but yet we have endless love for you.  You complete the circle, my sweet Townes.  You are what we were all wanting to make our family full, so thank you for being born; for choosing me as your mother and us as your family.  It’s hard to imagine life before you.  I love you sweet baby.

And to the guy who started this whole love fest in the first place….Bob!  I love you plain and simple.  I couldn’t do any of this without you.  Thank you for supporting me, for putting up with me (goodness…that’s a big thanks!), for being so calm and logically all the time, for being my balance…



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