Wednesday, January 31, 2018

My Aha Moment in the Middle of Target

If you can hang in there through my intro, the point of the story will come full circle….I promise.

Winter has been pretty gnarly here in Central Texas. Snow, ice, temperatures in the low teens, and frozen pipes……. wait, was that just us who forgot to drip the faucets?

During this time I realized that Lars had completely outgrown his previous winter attire and for several mornings while Lars was getting dressed I realized that his long sleeve shirts/sweaters were becoming ¾ length shirts and his skinny little arms were exposed to the harsh hill country elements (sunny and 30 degrees).  It was time for new shirts for this guy.

So while in Target one day, as I unexpectedly (or not) had entirely way too much shit in my cart because Target….I stopped by the toddler section to see if I could score some clearance long sleeve shirts for Lars.  I picked up a few 5T tshirts that I thought were cute and held them up and then it hit me…the shirts he HAD were 5T. He had outgrown them! If you don't know, that’s the end of the sizes in the toddler section. That's when I then gazed up across the aisle and there it was…the BOYS department.

I don’t know why y’all, but us moms are a strange breed.  Weird things make us crazy emotional.  I teared up and my heart sank a bit.  I placed the 5T shirts back on the table and painfully walked across the aisle to the boys section.  I felt out of place and like my feelings were hurt. (I know this is all sounding comical but it’s my life folks) How could this be? I’ve never shopped in this section before. I’ve only ever shopped in the toddler section. I made by way to the clearance rack and thumbed through the tops.  I found 3 long sleeve shirts that I thought Lars would like but knew would be a little too big.  I put them in the cart, checked out and headed home.

I tell y’all this story, only to tell you this…. for months now Bob and I have been wondering what in the hell was going on.  Lars has been combative, irritable, disrespectful, frustrated and having minor melt downs almost daily. I kept tossing it up to the holidays, or not enough sleep, which maybe those played a part, but I knew there was something else going on and that day in Target was my aha moment.  Lars is leaving toddlerhood behind and moving straight into boyhood. And it seems to be a really big and at times difficult transition...for all of us. 

He’s leaving the 5T’s and moving into the xsmalls. He’s needing less nurturing and more mentoring. He’s trying to find his independence and not ask for help but at the same time still needs us a lot. I’m sure it’s frustrating for him.  I’m sure it’s hard and exhausting as is any transitional phase. 

My mama heart aches as any mama can relate when your babies transition out of a phase. but this one is hard for me. Harder than that newborn to baby or baby to toddler or toddler to …..older toddler. He’s a little boy, who’s going to be 6 in April and I’m just not ready. I know I have to be ready, but it gives me that achy feeling in my throat, that wow, he’s growing up, time is moving so quickly feeling.

Sad mama feelings aside, I’m so excited for Lars and for what’s to come. I’m also excited to perhaps one day soon be out of this difficult, screw everything phase because that would be super awesome. I know he’s growing up and I know it’s inevitable, but he will always be my baby boy, my first beautiful boy. And just FYI….those shirts that I knew would be a little too big, fit just perfectly.

photo by the most wonderful katherine o'brien

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